15 Brutal Truths People Don’t Want to Hear

Today we’re looking at 15 brutal truths that people don’t want to hear. Hello guys! How great is it to have you here with us today. We continue our series with another controversial article, this time we’re taking a look at things most people tend to brush off under the carpet and pretend like these just don’t exist. The problem is we live in an imperfect world populated by humans of different faiths, different visions, and values. In the title of this video we use the term brutal truths in a particular fashion that’s meant to have you question the way you look at reality and what you believe to be your own truth because you see truth is different than fact, while facts stay the same–truths are an ever-evolving concept which have more to do with perception than anything else.
We know that a article like this one will not please everyone, it’ll probably offend a large portion of our audience, but the rest will benefit from it when putting it together we did our best to find truths that have been in place for hundreds of years and will probably be true for hundreds more. Your job is to be honest with herself to understand reality the way it really is, not the way people want you to believe it is and then use it to your advantage. Going through the following list will help you to better understand your position in life and help you find the correct strategies for moving forward. We recommend you ask yourself how much do you agree or disagree with the following statements and see which events and factors lead you to that perception. Maybe by the end of the article you’ll reevaluate the way you perceive yourself and your life, try not to be emotional about this and do your best to be objective as the article continues because you’re probably not going to like the information we’re about to share with you–with that said here are 15 brutal truths people don’t want to hear.

1. We are not born equal

In a perfect world it wouldn’t matter where you’re born, the color of your skin, your gender or your sexual preferences. We would all enjoy an even playing field and the best results will bubble up to the top, but we do not live in a perfect world–we live here in this one. If you were born in Switzerland, you’ll enjoy, since the very beginning, a premium quality of life, great access to medicine, incredible education opportunities all around you in a clean polite and efficient environment, on the other side of the coin if you are born a female in a country like Nepal and somehow managed to survive at birth, your letting you to be illiterate probably sold into human trafficking before you reach your teens or be labeled as a witch and shunned from society if you were born in Switzerland you have the freedom to marry whomever your heart desires and probably don’t believe in the existence of God or heaven altogether flip the script over to a place like Iran where people take the word of the Prophet seriously homosexuals are punished by death some people will be born into money some will discriminate based on the color of your skin because that’s what people have been doing for thousands of years be aware of this and look around for alternatives where people are not so closed-minded in the recent years developing countries have made a real push towards stopping discrimination and allowing for equal opportunities but it’s up to you to decide what kind of world you wish to live in and then do something about it

2. If emotions control you, you’ve already lost

Emotions are the thing that make us human make us love the world and create incredible pieces of art which capture every essence of what it means to be alive yet the world we live in today is not run by emotions this game we call life has a very particular set of rules which rewards efficiency and disregards emotions horses are really sophisticated organisms which are able to portray and understand feelings yet cars replace them simply because they were more efficient the world doesn’t care about your feelings unless we’re talking close friends and family nobody cares if your feelings get hurt and to be honest why should they ever since you were born you’ve seen the world through your own eyes and to yourself you believe you are the most important it doesn’t mean the rest of us have to agree how many times has your judgment been clouded by fury anger or love people are willing to do irrational things which are not in their own best interest when they allow emotions to take control over their actions a wise man will know how to use his emotions for his own benefit he will control them and not be controlled by them

3. Your appearance makes a difference

Guess what people do judge a book by the cover you might not like it but that says more about the way you perceive yourself then about the way the world treats you the fact that you know this and do nothing about it should give you something to think about if the world is selfish why not use that to your advantage invest in yourself get healthy hit the gym stop eating junk food and pouring so much sugar into your body buy yourself a decent pair of shoes and stop wearing socks with sandals two interviews this is not rocket science guys we as humans prefer other humans who look clean and healthy this comes from way back in the day when people would die early from a multitude of contagious diseases you want to be taken seriously then take yourself seriously it’s not even a culture thing it’s about timing there are appropriate moments to wear a t-shirt and sweatpants and moments when you need to bring out the big-boy suits even fashion icon Mark Zuckerberg understood this when he had his deposition it’s probably the easiest thing to fix if you want people to start treating you better

4. A person is not defined by what they own

We know we’ve said this before but we have to say it again if you were an asshole when you are poor and you suddenly got a lot of money you’re just an asshole with money now on our channel we talk a lot about the benefits of achieving financial success what that can mean for someone’s life relationships and what kind of impact it can have on you as a person with that said I’m and is not defined by what they own but by the values they have in our journey we’ve met multimillionaires who are unhappy surrounded by fake friends because they envelop themselves in a layer of superficiality if you’re going to get rich you need to do it right use that money to become a more complex person be wealthy in thoughts ideas relationships and sure even possessions but remember the latter does not define you the goal should never be to get rich by any means but to become such a valuable individual that the world rewards you with riches please remember this one because it can make all the difference in the game of life

5. If you’re not living you’re just dying

Being alive and living your life are two different concepts life is made of small moments that make the blood rush through your veins moments which stick around in your consciousness that’s when you are truly alive but what about the minutes and hours spent stuck in traffic will those are moments when you’re just dying these moments have no importance are not memorable and pun intended they take you nowhere you’ve probably heard the concept phrased in multiple different ways like if today was the last day of your life would you be happy doing what you’re doing many people make the mistake of getting trapped in a rat race and they forget to live time goes by so fast and you won’t realize when your entire life has passed you by try to keep tabs on how your life is going where were you 12 months ago did anything change are you better where will you be in another 12 months you’d be shocked how few people ask themselves these kinds of questions and even less have a plan of what to do with the answer no matter what your goals are in life it would be a real shame to go through life without achieving them without experiencing the feeling of fulfillment and getting to enjoy all the amazing experiences life has waiting for you it’s up to you to take action and to make sure the life you live is the one worth remembering when you’re on your deathbed almost a year ago we made our own bucket list video which we believe every man should shoot for and you can watch that video by clicking in the top right corner see how many you would to your own list

6. Thinking and doing are not the same thing

How many people have you heard saying they plan on doing something but never deliver on that promise how many people say they have ideas but never even put them into action life is about putting your actions where your mouth is and it’s time to stop lying to yourself the world is split between people who say they’re going to do something and those that actually get the job done you might not like to hear this but everyone can talk and if you’ve read our previous articles you know that talk is cheap you’re in this for yourself and the worst thing you can do is to start believing your own lies the world rewards those that get things done so if you have any plans to make a difference in this short lifetime of yours it’s time to cut the crap and get busy already it’s always shocking to hear how many people believe the spread around by books like the secret which say that all you have to do is think about what you want in the universe or some mystical power will provide you with exactly that you don’t need to do anything else if positive thinking is your plan to success you better hope to get really really lucky otherwise you’ll be faced by a very harsh reality positive thinking is actually a wish something you wish to happen while putting in as little effort toward it as possible if this is you you’re in the same campus four-leaf clovers shooting stars and Santa with the proper discipline and hard work behind it a wish can become a plan but it doesn’t work the other way around you should stay positive you should be optimistic about your future you need to believe in yourself believe that you have a real shot at getting it and then take massive amounts of action over extended periods of time while making a great deal of sacrifices you might not have realized it before reading this article but everyone wants to be successful but only the best players of the game get to win

7. Money fame and success can make you happy

The truth is your life would be a lot better if you had more money in the bank than you have right now your sex life would probably be a lot better if you were famous and you would feel a lot better about your life if you were a successful person no matter what success means to you anyone who says otherwise is lying or probably stupid money Fame and success are tools which you can use to become anything you want if you want to donate your wealth to the underprivileged and live as a monk in the Himalayas you get to do that if you want to travel the world and discover different cultures ideas and ideologies that’s also an option success means you have options you’re not constrained by your reality you can say no or yes when you feel like it although money doesn’t buy your happiness it can buy positive experiences for you and those you care about which when used correctly will evolve into personal happiness stop villainizing successful people just because they live better lives than you do

Life is a competition

Most people never accept this because they believe they can’t win so they try to change the rules so that everyone gets a participation trophy yuck the most beautiful thing is when they realize that what goes around doesn’t always come back around that some people never get theirs that people who you think are bullies we’re actually just playing the game and you were just underperforming just because you think someone isn’t worthy of success based on your own idea of reality doesn’t mean they’re not ahead of you in the words of the mythical Internet don’t hate the player hate the game guess what in life you’ll meet a lot of people who you think are assholes just because you don’t like the way they’re behaving unfortunately for you they’re still playing within the rules of the game the truth is you’re just comparing yourself to the wrong person life is a competition but it’s a competition against yourself against the hard reality that you’re either going to be a successful person or fade away into mediocrity it’s all up to you about how you’re going to play the game the best option is to spend as much time as you can studying the rules of the game and then play the rulebook and not against other people who cares how many people are in the race if the only person that matters from your perspective is yourself make sure you win that race with your previous self and keep growing until you win all the way

8. Everyone is wearing different masks

Depending on the occasion including yourself your personality is the sum of your experiences up to this point if your upbringing was slightly different you would have been a completely different person but the world sees us as we choose to present ourselves we are all playing roles when engaging with others we try to put our best foot forward we want to be liked and people to be interested in the things that we find fascinating we share our hobbies our interests and always try to find common ground with others so that they’ll accept us take the time to analyze the way you behave around different people the way your personality subtly changes and you present yourself in a slightly different light why do we do that as humans it all boils down to our survival instincts we want to survive so we’ll do whatever it takes to further our own agenda you want to be the best for yourself don’t you well guess what everybody does and some people take themselves very seriously be careful you keep around you as most of them will show only a mask only to disappear from your life when your journeys are no longer sharing the same destination how many childhood friends do you not keep in touch with because you no longer have anything in common with them without even knowing it people wear masks throughout their whole lives switching from one to another that’s why I anticipate because everybody is trying to be someone else and very few are successful by being themselves

9. The poor stay poor

Because they never try to learn being born in a broke environment is a matter of chance but dying broke is a matter of choice poor people behaved differently than the middle class and the rich they have different habits they find more excuses they might have been dealt a tougher hand to begin with but they call it quits as soon as they can and accept their current reality as destiny without giving it their all to improve their current situation in order for anyone to achieve financial success they need a particular set of tools which to our surprise most people never research and acquire them these tools can make anyone rich get anyone the life they want if used to their fullest potential although a good starting hand helps you can still do it even if you’ve been dealt an unfairly bad one these tools guarantee success they’re called learning discipline creativity and hard work when people think of education they immediately associate the term with expensive MBAs or universities reserved for the super-rich the truth is you can learn more about success in life by studying successful people by reading their stories and looking for patterns and their behaviors if you go through our entire library of videos on successful people you’ll find that almost all of them never stop learning they’re all disciplined as hell they use their creative juices as much as possible and they’ve been putting in hard work since they can remember without planning to stop anytime soon it’s all about the decision that I will do whatever it takes to create a better life for myself and those I care about after that give it your all the irony is poor people stay poor because they’re acting like they’re rich and the rich get richer because they keep acting like they’re poor the most popular video on our channel is titled 15 things poor people do that the rich don’t you can watch it yourself by clicking in the top right corner we followed up that video with the reverse of the coin dealing with some of the things the rich do that the poor never get to both videos will make you realize which traits you should keep and which ones you should toss out

10. Happiness comes from what you do for others

Most people you meet in life are all out for themselves everyone is trying as hard as they can to make themselves happy successful or whatever their own definition of success is the hard truth on happiness is that you cannot achieve sustainable happiness by being the single person impacted by your actions you can achieve glimpses of happiness but they will not stick around happiness doesn’t come from things it comes from the way other people feel which happen to brush off on to you especially if you’re the one who created their happiness in the first place this is such a strong truth because people fail to realize this until later in life everyone is pursuing their own happiness and even if they get all the money they want in the world all the fame in the world they realize they still haven’t got it yet and it leads to depression or even worse this happens because the entire concept is counterintuitive while in most life objectives you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else when it comes to happiness the world seems to be flipped you can take care of others and the result is you taking care of yourself let that sink in for a while and then have a look at your own life are you happy what generated this particular happiness who is responsible for it which actions led to your state of happiness when’s the last time you made someone happy the answers to all of these questions will give you a better understanding of your own happiness and which actions caused it once you know that hunt for that feeling and get as close to it as possible

11. Being busy doesn’t mean you’re doing anything worthwhile

Please remember this write it big on your vision board or somewhere you’ll be constantly reminded to check your reality being busy doesn’t mean you’re adding value to your life or those around you one of the most shocking things we’ve learned in our research is how many people are constantly busy but never manage to move ahead this has to do with people allotting way more time and resources than two things which are urgent but not important we understand you need to clean the house and get toilet paper from the store but if that’s what keeps you busy every single day you won’t have any time to get anything done that actually has an impact on your life the most important pillars in someone’s life are health relationships self-development and freedom with security if an action doesn’t fall into these four in a positive way it’s probably not important for you and those around you we all have things that we have to get done things that put food on the table and more the idea is to escape the trap of doing only those things and never getting around to the really important ones when’s the last time you did something important for yourself maybe it’s time to prioritize those things and stop wasting your time

Everyone you know will die eventually including yourself

This is probably the most important reality check you’ll ever get while you’re alive it’s one of the hardest truths we’ve all had to deal with at some point in our lives your mother your father your siblings your dog your loved ones and you are mortal and at one point every single one will cease to exist this alone is a strong enough reason to appreciate everything you have in your life holding grudges is stupid deal with the tiny problems and don’t forget to tell anyone who is important to you how much you care for them and how important they are to you mend your relationships especially with those who made a difference in your journey because you might not get a second chance to do so after your relationship affairs are in a good place it’s time to get serious about your life you will die one day so why the hell would you want to live a boring life you should do whatever it is in your power to create the life you want to live because you only get this one it doesn’t matter if you believe in heaven or not why wouldn’t you make heaven here on earth especially for you and those around you in our opinion there aren’t any higher goals than living a life that means something to you which adds value to the world as we know it

12. Your urgent problems

While to matter five years from now you know the test you have next week the project you’re rushing to complete the fact that your contractor is behind on your latest development project all of those stress you out and open the door for emotions to take control what we’re about to tell you can easily change your life if you pay attention and save this tool in your arsenal for success here it goes ask yourself if what you’re stressing about today will matter five years from now if yes then it’s time to get even more serious about it and make sure you get it right on the other hand if you’re not even going to remember it in five years why the hell are we spending so much time and resources on it just get it done so you can move on to important things the five year rule can help you understand which actions are in your best interest and remove at least some of the noise from your life if used correctly it’s one of those tools that looks simple enough but very few people actually take the time to use it and that’s how you end up being trapped in a rat race.

13. You are a tiny organism on a rock floating through space

For our final item on this list we wanted to double down on this idea that daily struggles steal away your life from you without giving much back the truth is you’re not special you are an organism which shares this floating rock with another eight billion people who are just like you and another 70 billion living things who don’t even know you exist there is a concept which we are truly fascinated with it’s called the overview effect it’s something that astronauts get to experience when leaving Earth and looking back from a distance once you’re in space you can see how tiny the entire world is how we’re all in conflict for things which don’t matter and for the nihilistic point of view individuals don’t matter you are part of an entire living colony which doesn’t care about the problems of the individual because they don’t really matter they matter to you but not to the colony it’s one of those things we plan on experiencing before we die because the overview effect changes the way you look at things at worries at problems disappointments and more look at the screen right now this is our planet viewed from space you are somewhere on this rock a tiny dot that worries about the smallest details which from this far up are non-existent try to run this experiment on your own and see what you can uncover about yourself it’s time we all stopped thinking so small faced the harsh truths of life except those which we can accept and do our best to live the life that’s valuable we’re curious to know which of these fifteen truths had the biggest impact on you as you are reading this article which of these do you believe will actually make a change in your future actions let us know down in the comments and as always we will do our best to engage with the most interesting ones and as you already know we can’t in a motivational article without a reward for the true reader who want to take all the value of these article in and are still hungry for more so here it is your bonus fact

16. Everything about your life is now in your own hands

There’s no already written path for you you are in a race where you put one foot in front of the other because you choose to ahead of you lies many crossroads even right now you can choose to take a different path than the one you’re already pursuing we left this one as the final bonus truth because some people don’t want to be responsible for their own destiny they don’t want the responsibility of making themselves happy of getting the life they want through hard work and discipline and instead choose to believe it’s all just in the hands of a higher authority these people are like a leaf on a river they believe they have no control over what happens to them but the hard truth is that you are the river not the leaf you have the power to craft your own path if anything stands in your way you have enough strength to push through it and leave a better path for all those who will follow you decide what your life should be and then get busy you only live once so you best believe we’re going to want to live it the way we want to you’re still here with us and you’ve decided to be the river not the leaf please write destiny in the comments as a statement that’s starting today you’re taking control over your life you’ll write your own destiny and not live a life that no one will remember.

15 Reasons Why People Don’t Find Love

Today it’s all about a special topic, love! The complicated feelings we have about love or rather the lack of love in our lives is well documented in songs, movies, or books but we rarely take the time to analyze them better and while those super catchy love songs are very relatable, there are some problems in the way they portray relationships. The truth is that real love is complicated and real-life relationships are hard more often than not. Successful relationships take a lot of patience time and a good dose of setting the right expectations.

So whether you’re now in a relationship or are currently searching for one, sit back, relax and enjoy our list of 15 reasons why people don’t find love.

1. You are looking for the wrong traits

What do you look for when you’re looking for love? Some people even make a list or have a fixed idea about the person they’re going to marry if only he or she would come along. Already the problem with this thinking is that you don’t even realize what’s wrong with a list itself. Many of the traits we usually associate with the perfect partner are actually bad for your relationship. Take for instance, I want a spouse who never complains that can be okay for a while but when things get tough, this person will bottle up their feelings and you won’t have the opportunity to fix your relationship problems, not to mention that good look social status and money might be important for you but if you’re only looking for that, it’s very likely it’s not going to work out so maybe it’s time to look for someone responsible and considerate before cool and hot.

2. You have unrealistic standards

When we first fall in love we invariably only see the good aspects about a person’s personality or their behavior, nothing can be bad about your new girlfriend or boyfriend, right? Unfortunately, this image will start to fall apart after a few months when you realize that they’re only human and that’s what you should be looking for anyway. Setting way too high or unrealistic standards is a way to ensure yourself that you’re never going to find someone. For example, you want to marry a hot billionaire who can fly planes, how realistic is that? In order to find out, take a look in the mirror what do you have to offer? Because a lot of the time, the trouble with people is that they attract who they are, so you might want to look at yourself first in order to find out who might be attracted to you. Not happy with who you are? Well start working on yourself and you might find that one perfect human you’re so desperately searching for!

3. You have low self-esteem

Look it’s not something that you might be willing to admit or even realize but it’s better to be honest with yourself before going on a search for the one. There’s no shame in trying to fix your low self-confidence or how you see yourself. Self-esteem issues usually start in childhood and won’t go away unless you work them out, common signs include the tendency to apologize way too much, poor social skills, not taking credit for your accomplishments, and telling way too many self-deprecating jokes. It can even be bad for your finances since you buy things to impress other people including stuff you don’t actually like. Finding someone won’t fix your confidence issues, it just tricks you into feeling better about yourself since you receive external validation, but be careful not to fall into the trap because you might end up unhappy when the other person fails to meet your validation expectations.

4. You are way too needy

You know that weird feeling of incompleteness most of us feel in times of loneliness and sadness? Neediness is a state of mind in which you feel incomplete and alone and want to fill this need with the validation of another human, most of the time in the form of a relationship. Not being able to deal with some loneliness every once in a while is dangerous for you since there’s no person in the world that will be able to cure the existential void we all carry inside and that’s a fact. Scientists spent a lot of time researching, remember this if you were unhappy before a relationship, chances are you’ll feel unhappy in it after all the butterflies go away. What you need to do is start improving the relationship with yourself and to embrace every feeling you have, dig the reasons and start building the best version of you.

5. You are stuck in the past

Going through a breakup is usually very difficult to do and it’s absolutely normal to feel like you don’t want to date for a while, however, as a relationship expert Barry Selby puts it, this is a valid reason if it’s only been a few weeks or even a month or two. Everyone is different and you can’t really put an expiry date on how long you’re supposed to grieve after all relationship ends, however, if it’s been more than a year and you’re still hung up on that one person or keeping yourself at a distance, you might need to start exploring what’s keeping you back from dating again. Because things might be a little bit more complicated than they seem are, you still hurting and didn’t get the chance to get some closure, maybe it’s time to call that X and set some things straight in order to move on. Do you miss certain things you used to do together? You might find similar traits in someone else. Are you secretly hoping that you’ll get back together and want to make yourself available for the future occasion? Well you know what they say if it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen, why not allow yourself to explore other alternatives in the meantime.

6. You are not actually searching for love

This may sound like a no-brainer, right? Well the truth is most people don’t really know they’re searching for and end up feeling miserable and unhappy for the wrong reasons. Love is a great feeling to search for, and shared love is what most of us aspire to, but stop for a moment and think about it. Are you sure a partner is what you need at the moment? Are you sure you’re putting in the effort to find your significant other? Because being caught in a routine and not stepping out of your comfort zone and out of your friends circle might hurt the ability to find someone to share your feelings with or maybe you’re just looking for a sporadic affection but you don’t really want to invest time and energy into a relationship in which case maybe a dog will do!

7. You don’t love yourself enough

Even if it sounds like an annoying cliche, trust us you have to love yourself to love somebody else. Putting yourself first isn’t selfish and people can exploit this side of you if you’re not careful. Having healthy self-esteem is probably the most underrated trait when searching for love. Many successful people got to where they are because they trusted themselves enough and have a realistic image of who they are, in addition, people find confidence sexy and if you love yourself you’ll make others see how awesome you really are. So next time you go on a date, remember that at the end of the day your relationship with yourself is the longest and most important relationship you will ever have, so you’d better start liking yourself and cheer for yourself a lot more from now on.

8. You don’t work on yourself

Remember that validation thing? Look we all want to be praised respected and admired. We want people to notice things about us but sometimes this need is taken to an extreme, oftentimes we worry so much about what others think that we do nothing or not enough for ourselves plus it’s very convenient just to sit around and complain about not finding someone because it’s not you, it’s them. Again it’s hard to work on yourself but in the end it is so worth it you don’t even have to change many things since you can prioritize different aspects such as your job, a fitness regimen or becoming more social, and even if you don’t get into a relationship, think of the rewards you’ll reap later on like a better job, maybe a greater career perspective ahead or networking, because at the end of the day it all comes down to improving yourself and while staying in the comfort zone is nice, all the fun and excitement happens outside of it.

9. You are always looking for the next best thing

Sure it’s okay to be picky sometimes and why should you settle for less than you deserve. Again it all comes down to expectations and has to do more with our consumerist culture than you’d expect. We have countless dating sites like match.com or apps like tinder that offer us access to as many people as you want yet how many of them actually bring people together especially with apps you’re always browsing swiping or scrolling and end up dissatisfied with everyone you meet? This creates a vicious cycle since you’re hopping from one date to another and never let actual feelings take shape. You don’t have to like every single person that you go out with but giving someone a chance for once can actually result in lasting love. Just slow down for a bit when it comes to love especially if finding the one is your goal at the moment.

10. You don’t know what to do with your life

This one is tricky because many people don’t actually know what they want to do in life. The problem with this is you waver between things, avoid making decisions, and having no direction can be bad for your love life too, plus having goals and the actual pursuit of them can make you very attractive and that is a fact. The basis of a healthy relationship is often two people who have their own life to live, also be very mindful of the balance between pursuing your goals and finding a partner as they sometimes complement each other and who knows maybe deciding to become a freelancer or moving to a different city will lead you to meeting your soulmate, not to mention that it will raise your standards and you’ll start attracting even more interesting people and if you want to move to another place on earth, make sure to check out our article on 10 most beautiful islands in the world to get some inspiration for your next escape.

11. You don’t prioritize love

It’s all great if you don’t actually want a relationship and mean it. Oftentimes we are asked why we are single, we give the half-hearted too busy with work excuse but in reality the excuse is very valid nowadays, people work long hours and cram their schedule with all kinds of activities, what you don’t realize is that if you want to find love, you’ll actually have to invest in it. That means spending time with someone and genuinely getting to know people. We all know those people that check their phones constantly while on a date or end up ghosting you because they don’t want to do anything to make it work, but avoiding love when you really want it is a way of self-sabotage and making excuses like being too busy for it might actually cover up for other insecurities, and hurt you face when trying to move into a relationship. As we keep saying: Make sure to take a look at yourself before deciding the real reasons you haven’t found love at the moment and stop blaming the external factors for five minutes.

12. You worry about commitment

The image of settling down, owning a house, having kids, and so on might make some of you cringe plus people refuse to settle down because they think that there’s someone better out there, that mythical soulmate that will have everything on the list and more. The truth is you might be more afraid of commitment than not finding the one who’s the whole package, oftentimes people who do this have unrealistic expectations and forget the real value of a relationship. For example a person might be always late but they genuinely care about you or their job isn’t impressive but they’ll go out of their way to make you happy and most of all you’re not going to be the whole package yourself so demanding that from someone else is only going to hurt your chances in the long run. Think for a bit about the reasons you don’t want commitment, maybe there’s something in your childhood affecting you or a past relationship that went wrong. Deal with the issue and then find a way to find love.

13. You are afraid of intimacy

When was the last time you had meaningful eye contact with someone? When was the last time you truly expressed your feelings to find love? We actually have to accept it into our lives and relationships don’t work out when you’re too afraid to do that. Very often people who have a fear of intimacy will be able to hide it by seeming upbeat all the time very strong or by staying busy non-stop, they also avoid meaningful interactions with people and they’re extremely picky. You might want to also figure out if you have avoidant styles of attachment. Attachment theory says that avoidant people have a hard time developing close relationships and generally want a lot of independence. The problem is that deep down they need love but most often won’t or cannot change their ways.

14. You are way too dependent

We all depend on each other it’s what makes friendship family or societies work, however, expecting someone to be your whole world or not being able to function without a partner can actually make people want to distance themselves from you, it’s not healthy to put all of that responsibility on one person no matter what love songs or rom-coms have told you. People who have attachment issues specifically an anxious attachment style tend to be very dependent on others, the biggest problem is that emotional dependence isn’t the same thing as love, and it’s important to acknowledge the issue before working on it, as we said earlier, there’s no one out there that will fully fill your existential void or that will meet all your expectations so depending on someone else to deal with everything you don’t want to deal with might leave you lonely and hurt in the end.

15. You have abandonment issues

We all know those people who would absolutely do anything to avoid being broken up with and while we’ll all do things to keep our loved ones in our lives that shouldn’t mean extreme behaviors such as controlling them or having a constant fear they might be cheating other, worrying signs include sabotaging your own relationships, expecting perfection from others, and getting attached way too soon, however, abandonment issues can be fixed and they’re also not your fault since they developed from different causes such as parents divorce or emotional and physical abuse. A sign you might be struggling with these issues may be a constant tendency to please others, be it your colleagues, your friends, and also feeling anxious when you think someone is upset with you, love and relationships are complicated and they depend a lot on compromise and effective communication. As a final thought make sure you take a look at yourselves first before blaming the outside world for being cruel and not granting you with the perfect soul mate you’re searching for and also remember to work on yourself constantly to improve.